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I’m not trying to lose weight, anymore. I am 269 pounds. I no longer am trying to lose weight. I am actively trying to eat healthily, drink enough water, exercise, sleep, and etc. If I lose a bunch of weight through this process, that’s great. If I don’t; I no longer desire to be one-hundred-and-something pounds, anymore. 269 is fine; I don’t mind. I actually lost two pounds, recently. | I was about 155 pounds, back when I was 15 years old. I was then put on a med called paroxetine/paxil, along with something else, I think, and I gained about 30 pounds on them. It was at least 20. I’ve been on meds since I was 13, some of which had some quite serious weight-related side effects to them. They were all psychiatric meds to treat my condition, schizoaffective disorder. I’ve been on prozac, zoloft, paxil, risperdal, wellbutrin, abilify, and a few others. I’m on abilify right now, 7.5 mg. | I had been a chubby kid—I think I was 83 pounds when I was six. Whereas the average is around 45 pounds, I think. Though I had been an overweight child, I believe I had started to appear much skinnier when I got to teenage years. Maybe my increased height made it look like I was less heavy than I was. I actually think that I was beginning to lose my baby fat by that time, and become a normal-weight young woman. But then I gained a fair amount of weight, due to my meds. After being stable on meds for some years, I somehow became a severe stress-eater, and something of a binge-eater, too. I ate a lot of chocolate and ice-cream, and hamburgers. And chicken sandwiches. I cooked pancakes and lasagna, and homemade banana ice-cream, and things like that. I also consumed a lot of fruits and veggies and salads, to my credit. Salads with boiled egg and almonds, in them. And avocados and apple slices, or tangerine slices; whatever I could find at hand. My blood sugar is a normal 5.4, according to my lab test bloodwork. My cholesterol is good; all my numbers are good. | I feel bad that I was losing all my baby fat before I started my meds, at age 13. I truly believe I might have been 130 pounds, by now. I am 27 years old right now, and barely 5’4. I am 269 pounds. But I don’t care, anymore; I’m trying to be as healthy as possible. I truly do not care if I don’t lose even another pound off my body, or my belly, or whatever. People don’t know what you’ve been through; they only see your increased size. No one knows if you were raped in the past, and whether your weight plays a protective role, with regard to others. No one knows whether you’re on anti-psychotics, or not. They just see a bigger body, and judge, negatively.